Good Grief?

When confronted with grief, what do you do? I do what I think a lot of men do, I kill it or I run from it. Grief is not safe, it's not masculine; I've got to get away from it as quickly as possible. Diffuse it with a joke, or maybe with optimism. Or maybe with a sense of futility - I can't change it, so why should I feel it? But what am I so afraid of? And if you are with me on this, what are you so afraid of? What does a tear, especially in front of someone, cost you?

What if we followed in the footsteps of Christ? He was a man, a brilliantly strong man, but he was also called a "man of sorrows and full of grief." I don't think the two are mutually exclusive.

Maybe to truly be a man is to embrace your sorrow instead of hiding from it. Maybe strength is being able to feel, to weep and shed tears for yourself without shame. Maybe a good place to start is to grieve the fact that there is shame for a lot of men (myself included) when it comes to grief and, indeed, tears. Why should I be ashamed of my tears? Why should I be afraid to feel?

Cry, wail, tear your clothes, because our world has a really fucked up view of masculinity, and we have inherited it.

But what will we do with it now that it's ours?