A few nights ago some friends and I were discussing conversion and evangelism, thinking about what that looks like lived out in today's world. We were speaking primarily about relationship, because it seems like that is where Christ most often meets people - through the face of another. This made me remember the first encounter I can recall having of Christ many years ago. It is in a way my first conversion story, the beginning of what has been and will continue to be a long journey for me as I seek to figure out what this life is, how I fit in it, and how Christ speaks into that.
I was probably five or so years old, and all I remember is my room at our family's old house on Mellow Ridge. I was sitting on my bed, alone in my room. I was being punished for something, probably having to do with a fight with my younger sister Allison or something. Sitting there alone, I was surprisingly clear-headed about my situation, at least as I remember it. It dawned on me, what if God wants me to be good?
It seems childish when I think back on it, but childish in a good way. From where I am now I really want to deconstruct what it would mean for me to be "good" and I would want to point out that Christianity offers so much more than morality (which it does), but the simplicity of such a revelation I think is pretty remarkable.
Some people get burning bushes or theophanies involving hosts of angels or a clear, audible voice. I first got a subtle suggestion to be nicer to my sister. Of course if I was any nicer to Allison she likely didn't notice. We fought continuously throughout childhood, even into high school. But this was my first conversion experience, and though there have been many since, this overly simplistic, naive, childish moment is special to me.
"Love your neighbor as yourself."
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3 comments:
I really like this account- and have since I heard it the first time. I think it's interesting to remember how we thought as kids, especially about God. Many of my early memories have to do with trying to mentalize what it means to have Jesus in my heart and to be forgiven. (still trying to do that), but somewhat like your conversion story here, my memories, from at least as early as kindergarten, still have the implicit element that I knew I wasn't as "good" as I could be. Not in the sense that I'd had "sinner" drummed into me, but that I knew that whatever Jesus was, I wished I could be more like that- be nicer, have nicer thoughts, etc. I think it's definately worthwhile to consider our earliest memories of spritual inquiry. i think it would probably reveal a lot about our current inquiries/struggles, etc. And also about the ways God reveals Godself to us- from the get go. Hmm...
i tagged you on my blog. check it out (or not) it's not that exciting
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